Laughs, lumps and bumps

A Geraldton GP treated men at a policy launch to an entertaining series of health tips recently.

First of all, Dr Gerhard Beukes took the audience through the delicate matter of self-examination.

“If we go to the shower, we examine ourselves,” he said.

“We don’t have breasts boys, we have other tools to palpate. If there’s lumps, if there’s bumps, you need to seek professional help.”

Dr Beukes then asked men to be mindful of what happened in the toilet.

“Slow down for a few seconds, have a look,” he said.

“It’s like a truck: is he standing still in front of the pit or has he started parking over the pit?

“Does he have to get his bladder empty through gravitation or can he still write his name in the dust?

“If he can’t write his name in the dust, if he’s parked over the pits, he needs to see a professional.”

Although he was only allotted two minutes, Dr Beukes kept the audience entertained for more than 14 minutes as he took them through bowel movements, body mass index, changing skin blemishes, and basic self-esteem.

He came on immediately after Agricultural Region member Laurie Graham, who launched the WA Men’s Health and Wellbeing Policy at the Queen Elizabeth II Centre.

This is described as a “new roadmap” to improve the health and wellbeing of all men and boys in WA. “In WA, males are currently over-represented in the areas of suicide, cancer, type 2 diabetes, heart and lung disease and stroke,” the policy document says.

“More than 77 per cent of WA males are overweight or obese, more than 14 per cent smoke and more than 31 per cent exceed alcohol consumption guidelines, which is the highest figure in Australia.”

The policy outlines the Government’s response to the National Male Health Policy, and is available at http://www.health.wa.gov.au/mens-health.